Hi Everyone! :)
This post can be triggering !
A part of this day was good and another part wasn't. Actually it was tiring. I mentioned earlier that my great grandmother is still alive. She is very old and she has trouble with her hearing and it seems like with her seeing. She keeps commenting about me. There were times when she stop but it seems like it's begin again. A few days ago i was at her place and she look at me and say: " You are so strong..." For her it doesn't mean that i have muscles, it means that i'm like a wrestling woman. She said that " your are not fat, just hmm..." I was pretty upset because i know that i'm not fat or " strong" or anything like that. And what if i would be fat ? Would i be less clever ? or would i worth less ? No. Of course not.
Today i was at her place again, and she said the almost the same things. I couldn't take it no more so i said that " No, i'm not "strong" and i'm not like a wrestling woman damn it! So stop it!" I know that she is 94 years old. But i didn't and i still don't care. She also said that i'm tall, however i don't wear high heels. I'm 160cms tall...
Now i'm about to cry and i'm hungry. My stomach hurt but i can't go in the kitchen because when i say " all right, i'm going to have something to eat" my great grandmother's words and almost every bad memories from the past years pops up in my mind.
Anyway
Have a great day everybody ! :)
This post can be triggering !
A part of this day was good and another part wasn't. Actually it was tiring. I mentioned earlier that my great grandmother is still alive. She is very old and she has trouble with her hearing and it seems like with her seeing. She keeps commenting about me. There were times when she stop but it seems like it's begin again. A few days ago i was at her place and she look at me and say: " You are so strong..." For her it doesn't mean that i have muscles, it means that i'm like a wrestling woman. She said that " your are not fat, just hmm..." I was pretty upset because i know that i'm not fat or " strong" or anything like that. And what if i would be fat ? Would i be less clever ? or would i worth less ? No. Of course not.
Today i was at her place again, and she said the almost the same things. I couldn't take it no more so i said that " No, i'm not "strong" and i'm not like a wrestling woman damn it! So stop it!" I know that she is 94 years old. But i didn't and i still don't care. She also said that i'm tall, however i don't wear high heels. I'm 160cms tall...
Now i'm about to cry and i'm hungry. My stomach hurt but i can't go in the kitchen because when i say " all right, i'm going to have something to eat" my great grandmother's words and almost every bad memories from the past years pops up in my mind.
Anyway
Have a great day everybody ! :)
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