Hi Everyone ! :)
The " guest thing" went really well !! Thank God ! The children and i have laughed a lot. We played. So we had so much fun ! :) I could forgot about anorexia for a little time, and it is sooooo good ! :) It was soooo good ! :)
So today... so today my father and me went out to town for a hot chocolate. The coffee bar was closed so we went to another place. I had white hot chocolate and my father had a " proper " hot chocolate. It was good that we were out. The hot chocolate....errrr....well it wasn't good at all. It tasted like... i don't know. Something white and sugary....but not sugary enough. And it had got some strange taste too...but i was with my dad and that what matters ! :) And we also had one fondant candy ( cappucino flavour ) from Sthümer. :) It tasted sooo good ! :) So we talked and i said that i wrote an e-mail to my ex- psychiatrist that Thank God i'm doing really well and maybe we should work together again. And than...my dad asked something like that.: " Could it be that the professor thinks that because you gained so fast you had....what is that...?" i answered.: " Bulimia ? " my dad.: " That's it ! ". Ouuchhh.... I was like...no i don't think that my ex - doctor thinks that i might have bulimia... but that could mean that my father thinks or thought that i might have bulimia. Ohhhh Gosh.... i answered that " No...no i don't have bulimia !!! ". Ohhh my... I already have an ED i don't need that people especially somebody who i love " give" me another one !!! I gain fasted because at the begining the gaining could be fast !!! And my lowest weight was veeeery low !!! I mean... during the hot chocolate.... I go to the public, i'm drinking in public with him, i'm drinking HOT CHOCOLATE with him in public, and eating CANDY with him in public and he could ask a thing like that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He say that he is so so soooo proud of me, and feel the power in me. I'm very glad to hear that !!!!!!! :) But it seems to me that he cares about that blood scale the most !!!!! Arrrggghhhh.... About what the scale shows. I mean come on... those are just numbers !!!!!! Those are not me !!!!!! And talking about healthy BMI.... man !!!! That is just a number too !!! They say that the healthy BMI is between that and that number. Arrrgghh... i never ever liked maths !!!! XD Never in my life !!!!!! They say that this and that number is the healthy for your age and they got this or that number by useing a formula. How ridicoulus is it!!!!!!! The LIFE IS NOT A NUMBER !!!! The LIFE IS A FORMULA !!!!! The LIFE IS MORE THAN NUMBERS AND FORMULAS !!!! Life comes the deep from our soul !!!! You can't explain that ! THE POWER OF LIFE IS STRONGER THAN ANYTHING !!!!!! :)
Pictures coming soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Keep fighting !!! STAY STRONG!!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!! :) YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
xxx
The " guest thing" went really well !! Thank God ! The children and i have laughed a lot. We played. So we had so much fun ! :) I could forgot about anorexia for a little time, and it is sooooo good ! :) It was soooo good ! :)
So today... so today my father and me went out to town for a hot chocolate. The coffee bar was closed so we went to another place. I had white hot chocolate and my father had a " proper " hot chocolate. It was good that we were out. The hot chocolate....errrr....well it wasn't good at all. It tasted like... i don't know. Something white and sugary....but not sugary enough. And it had got some strange taste too...but i was with my dad and that what matters ! :) And we also had one fondant candy ( cappucino flavour ) from Sthümer. :) It tasted sooo good ! :) So we talked and i said that i wrote an e-mail to my ex- psychiatrist that Thank God i'm doing really well and maybe we should work together again. And than...my dad asked something like that.: " Could it be that the professor thinks that because you gained so fast you had....what is that...?" i answered.: " Bulimia ? " my dad.: " That's it ! ". Ouuchhh.... I was like...no i don't think that my ex - doctor thinks that i might have bulimia... but that could mean that my father thinks or thought that i might have bulimia. Ohhhh Gosh.... i answered that " No...no i don't have bulimia !!! ". Ohhh my... I already have an ED i don't need that people especially somebody who i love " give" me another one !!! I gain fasted because at the begining the gaining could be fast !!! And my lowest weight was veeeery low !!! I mean... during the hot chocolate.... I go to the public, i'm drinking in public with him, i'm drinking HOT CHOCOLATE with him in public, and eating CANDY with him in public and he could ask a thing like that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He say that he is so so soooo proud of me, and feel the power in me. I'm very glad to hear that !!!!!!! :) But it seems to me that he cares about that blood scale the most !!!!! Arrrggghhhh.... About what the scale shows. I mean come on... those are just numbers !!!!!! Those are not me !!!!!! And talking about healthy BMI.... man !!!! That is just a number too !!! They say that the healthy BMI is between that and that number. Arrrgghh... i never ever liked maths !!!! XD Never in my life !!!!!! They say that this and that number is the healthy for your age and they got this or that number by useing a formula. How ridicoulus is it!!!!!!! The LIFE IS NOT A NUMBER !!!! The LIFE IS A FORMULA !!!!! The LIFE IS MORE THAN NUMBERS AND FORMULAS !!!! Life comes the deep from our soul !!!! You can't explain that ! THE POWER OF LIFE IS STRONGER THAN ANYTHING !!!!!! :)
Pictures coming soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Keep fighting !!! STAY STRONG!!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!! :) YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
xxx
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