Hi Everyone !
In the past days...*sighs* i just lost my motivation to eat. My mood was good usually just...i " survived" the day. I eat less but exercise and the results...:
Yesterday i stand up on the scale. I looked it and was like " oh My..." i reached my lowest weight again. So that's mean that i'm under 29kilos. At the first time i was happy. But than i realised that i have to work to put on weight again... * biiiiiig sighs*
I usually eat some of my "first meal" and then i start exercising. I feel happy after finished. Why can't i just sit down and read or do something which is not exercising ??? Arrrrrrgggghhhh...
I so tired...mentally and physicly as well. But mentally the most. I tired of cheating with food, think about food actually i tired of eating !!!!!!
I have to admit that i enjoy starvation, but after i eat something i realise that everything or a lot of thing what i thought was just because i was hungry. I know that i shouldn't let myslef starving but it's so hard !
In fact i realise that i'm forget how to eat. I mean what usually people eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Any advice anybody ?? It would be very helpful if you share some advice with me ! :) Thank you ! And eating a meal takes me a lot of time.... I wish i could just start to eat and finish in " normal time". Be honest an hour for an apple ( that is just an example ) doesn't seem very normal. Advice for that too anyone please ? :) Thank you !
See you later! :) Take care ! ;)
In the past days...*sighs* i just lost my motivation to eat. My mood was good usually just...i " survived" the day. I eat less but exercise and the results...:
Yesterday i stand up on the scale. I looked it and was like " oh My..." i reached my lowest weight again. So that's mean that i'm under 29kilos. At the first time i was happy. But than i realised that i have to work to put on weight again... * biiiiiig sighs*
I usually eat some of my "first meal" and then i start exercising. I feel happy after finished. Why can't i just sit down and read or do something which is not exercising ??? Arrrrrrgggghhhh...
I so tired...mentally and physicly as well. But mentally the most. I tired of cheating with food, think about food actually i tired of eating !!!!!!
I have to admit that i enjoy starvation, but after i eat something i realise that everything or a lot of thing what i thought was just because i was hungry. I know that i shouldn't let myslef starving but it's so hard !
In fact i realise that i'm forget how to eat. I mean what usually people eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Any advice anybody ?? It would be very helpful if you share some advice with me ! :) Thank you ! And eating a meal takes me a lot of time.... I wish i could just start to eat and finish in " normal time". Be honest an hour for an apple ( that is just an example ) doesn't seem very normal. Advice for that too anyone please ? :) Thank you !
See you later! :) Take care ! ;)
I didn't like reading this post.I am getting a worried for you now,especially because I can see there's not really much I can do from here.
VálaszTörlésPlease, talk to your parents honestly. Tell them that you need help and you can't do this on your own. They care for you and they will surely look out for a professional help for you.
Are there any structures where you could seek for help in Hungary?
One thing is wanting to be thin and good looking,but I just hope you can see that you're far from healthy looking now and that you have pushed yourself too far.
From what you write I can already see that you are willing to fight and get better and that's a big step into the right direction.
Now, if you don't know HOW to increase your daily intake of food and HOW to stop your compulsion to exercise, you need to trust the experts. They are there to help you to get your life back.
Please, just TRUST me. Trust your parents, the doctors and all those who care for you and only wish to see you free and happy again.
Oh hun I'm so worried about you!!! The Girlfriend ist right!!! Did you get my answer to your comment http://fightingtolivelife.wordpress.com/2012/10/31/new-haircolour/ ??? I included some tips there!! Hold on to that willpower of yours to fight, it means so much already!!!:) You CAN win this fight against anorexia!!! YOU HAVE the power!!! And yes, you need to TRUST. It cannot be repeated often enough. This is really really hard but see it as an experiment - TRUST others. Please try stay clear from all vigorous exercise....if you feel like moving go for a walk, do yoga...
VálaszTörlésPlease...I don't want to sound harsh or anything...but to win this fight it is important for you to know:
- You DON'T HAVE TO (at the moment actually SHOULDN'T) exercise.
- Your body is already at a SEVERE ENERGY DEFICIT.
- You don't have to JUSTIFY YOUR EATING, it's NATURAL and no SHAME.
- You NEED ALL THE ENERGY YOU CAN GET for repair and damage to your body.
- You CAN return. There IS a way out. Many others already did it.
- Many others are doing it right now. WE CAN DO IT TOO!!!
- Recovery means LIFE. Starvation...DEATH.
- Weight gain is YOUR FRIEND right now. Starvation is the ENEMY.
- You WON'T get fat. You just won't.
- TRUST TRUST TRUST...me, others, your parents, doctors....it is incredibly important, it's a key to successful recovery!!!
I hope you don't take anything I wrote the wrong way. Your health is really important to me. I want to help you get out of this mess and support you through your recovery. Listen to that tiny voice of your inside you that says: eat, fight, don't give up, sit down after eating...because it is the true one...the one that won't disappoint you when you listen to it. TRUST ME.
I wish you from all my heart that you get better!!
Have a nice day, and I mean it: start recovery TODAY. Please eat. Don't exercise after!! Believe me, this won't harm you. Everything is going to be okay if you DON'T LISTEN to that vicious voice of anorexia.
Stay strong!!!:)
All the best
xxx
I wrote this post especially for you:
VálaszTörléshttp://theitaliangirlfriend.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/its-time-to-push-yourself-beyond-your.html
Please read, tell me if you understand my message
Hope you know I really want to help you.
Be strong xxx
Dear Girlfriend ! :)
VálaszTörlésThank you !!!What can i say... I've read your post and it almost make me cry ! That i have got people around me who understands me so well and care about me. Trust...yes one of the hardest thing ! But one of the most important as well. That example with the sky-dive is perfect. "Someone will tell you to jump, to abandon yourself and trust." It is so true !! Thank you that you care about me, and help !
Everyone else who helped and help ! Guys you are just AWSOME!!! That you are here for me, anytime, no matter what ! So if i can help in anything I'M HERE TO!!! For everything ! :)
Girlfriend i understood your message ! Thank you so so much !
:) It makes me soso happy to see you positive - I have lots of hope for you, no, I have COMPLETE hope and trust in you that you WILL get better!!! Your willpower and readiness to fight is something that YOU really inspire me with, actually you're helping me a lot with that!!! You are truly inspiring and I KNOW you can do this!!! :)
VálaszTörlésHang on there, always keep your head held high and never give up!!!:) <3