Recovery is BEAUTIFUL and POSSIBLE :)

Hi Everyone ! :)

I've struggled a lot in the past few days. As i mentioned i'm addicted to pain. So i....i wanted to hurt myself ( to cut myself ) so badly. But i haven't done that :) So i treated myself instead of hurting it :)

I went to the manicurist again ! When i was ill i haven't treated myself at all! To be honest i think.... i hated myself. But me and myself became friends i can say that ! :) Or we are close to it :) I really try to accept my body....myself ! :)

French manicure again :)

When i started my therapy with my ex - therapist i thought that the recovery will be easy. That all i will have to do is sit and waiting for the miracle....Ohh i couldn't be more mistaken!!! :) Recovery is a REALLY HARD WORK!!!! But it is soooo sooo worth it !!! 

The left picture was taken nearly at my lowest weight. I remember i felt so weak. I was unhappy however....i  tried to smile. Ohhh my God how many fake smiles i did..... Horrible....

The righ picure ( with the christmas tree in the back :) ) was taken when i was in recovery in about one month or a little bit less. I didn't smile it's true. But i started to have more energy, i started to realize that i'm worth living !!!! I started to learn a lot of thing again. Almost everthing.... to eat, to smile, to laugh....to live. To live REALLY!!! 

You guys are sooo worth living !!! You guys are sooo strong!! All of you !!! Keep fighting!!! I'm here for you everytime!!!! xxx