Hi Everyone !
Today was completly strange !! I had anxiety...and really really bad thougths coming through my head. Well... to be honest suicide thoughts... I won't do that just i had those thoughts. But thank God they are pased away !!!
I wake up this morning feeling so fine. Didn't freeze or have bad feelings. But as the day continued my mood went down. I started to freeze and wanted to do so much and nothing at the same time. I felt the cold will get back and it doesn't. I had my lunch and after that lot of thing just went wrong. I had a fight with my mum again because i wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted her and everybody to leave me alone ! But than somehow the things just turn out right Thank God !
I noticed that i ate only salted things in the past few days. My body defintitly craving for sweet things. Not chocolate maybe just...i don't know....i mean i didn't. First i said to my mum okay than give me an apple... but finally i said i should try a cacao drink. Without sugar. So it's sugar free. It's a deutsch (i think it is ) product called " happy drink". I said i try this one, if it doesn't work i don't know what will happen. Because my mood get worst and worst. Even if i eat. And after eating...and after awhile get better. Well i drank the drink and it helped ! It felt good. I hope my mood get better. I don't know what happen to me !
Here is what i ate yesterday :
Today was completly strange !! I had anxiety...and really really bad thougths coming through my head. Well... to be honest suicide thoughts... I won't do that just i had those thoughts. But thank God they are pased away !!!
I wake up this morning feeling so fine. Didn't freeze or have bad feelings. But as the day continued my mood went down. I started to freeze and wanted to do so much and nothing at the same time. I felt the cold will get back and it doesn't. I had my lunch and after that lot of thing just went wrong. I had a fight with my mum again because i wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted her and everybody to leave me alone ! But than somehow the things just turn out right Thank God !
I noticed that i ate only salted things in the past few days. My body defintitly craving for sweet things. Not chocolate maybe just...i don't know....i mean i didn't. First i said to my mum okay than give me an apple... but finally i said i should try a cacao drink. Without sugar. So it's sugar free. It's a deutsch (i think it is ) product called " happy drink". I said i try this one, if it doesn't work i don't know what will happen. Because my mood get worst and worst. Even if i eat. And after eating...and after awhile get better. Well i drank the drink and it helped ! It felt good. I hope my mood get better. I don't know what happen to me !
Here is what i ate yesterday :
"bun" made from wholemeal flour and tomatoe slices inside. For drink it was water.
For lunch: Taglitelle made from wholemeal flour. with light cottage cheese . And a water for drink.
For dinner: " Tarhonya": (Egg barley, also egg drops, is an egg-based pasta grain in Hungary and Eastern Europe, originating probably from the influence of the Ottoman empire and the Turkish cuisine from tarhana or of Persian origin, similar to the Persian tarkhane. The "barley" moniker is derived from its superficial resemblance to cooked pearl barley. Because of the relatively large size of the flakes, it is considered sometimes a type of small dumpling). With light sour cream. For drink water.
I haven't manage all of them. But almost. Any opinions ? :)
I'm sorry...the many suicidal thoughts, I remember, I still get them when I feel things get to much....like I can't go on, that all my life is just in vain. I can't look at train tracks or windows on high floors with certain connotation. It's seems like an easy way out but it's not, it's cowardly and might create more trouble than you were in before. I don't entertain those thoughts so much anymore, they are more controlled now. I used to have a really bad coping mechanism and still have at times but often it helps to just get a hug from someone or anything that shows you that you're worth trying to life!!
VálaszTörlésI really like your choices:) (apart from that they're too little, but we're doing this slowly, right?:) I'm so happy how you discovered that your body wants something sweet and reacted to that!!! Really soso happy:) It means that you're starting to listen to your body, that's good!!! Something I'm still not so good at....
About your food choices: for that bun you had, how about adding some turkey ham, tofu or cheese(i know, took me a long time go accept a slice of cheese, but it's really not a bad thing, lots of benefits in there. It was one of my first challenges from my fear food list...
Could you make such a list and work on it?:)
Alright, continued about the bun, a reallu nice combination is bread spread, apple slices, cucumber slices and cheese....a startling combination at first, but really yummy (I got the idea from one of the shops that sellfilled breadrolls!)....and if you like apple....
For breakfast....how about you try oatmeal - with some kind of fruit? With apple for the beginning and a banana when you dare to? Or berries?:)
Or you could have bread/toast with peanut butter and apple or banana, if you dare to- it's GREAT (recovery) food!!
I like that you combined cottage cheese with your tagliatelle!!! How about some nice vegetables, mashed egg,... ?:)
And for dinner: include veggies, egg, tofu, beans....do you like fish? It's not cheap but it's an AMAZING source of many important nutrients!!!! Or if you eat meat, chicken or turkey?
Finally when you want something sweet, here's what I have (or combine with a meal) when I want something sweet, and trust me, they might not be on your 'safe' food list now (they weren't always on mine) but they are really 'safe' healthy foods!!!:) So: honey, raisins, dates (or any dried fruits really), apple, banana, blueberries, 'innocent' or homemade smoothie, hot cocoa-made with: natural dark cocoa powder, cinnamon, water, (soy)milk and tsp honey-veeery nice and good for your belly as warm foods in general are your friends!!:) Mind, many of the above listed foods I simply ADD to something, eg. Oatmeal/semolina/millet with raisins and banana/ berries/apple and honey; raisins and nuts; etc etc...try out new combinations and food and you'll see how you're progressing!!!:)
I got many more ideas but I won't bother you with all of them, a few are enough for a start;)
Please let me know what you think about the ideas, whether my tips are helpful or not...I really want to help you:) So please feel free to tell me, if you're okay with my tips....
Greetings from Austria:)
xxx