My feelings

Hi Everyone !

I feel like i'm in a roller coaster! In a moment i feel i can do anything, and in the other " uhhh everyone leave me alone i don't want to eat, i count calories" but that is natural i think. Because it's a fight! I really feel that I'm alone at the moment...no one to talk to...not just because i'm alone in the flat XD, but because i don't really have friends. Especially people who understands me. I can't call nobody and say: " I'm so down...can you help me ? Can you just tell me some positive thing? Something to inspirate ? " Of course sometimes being alone is very useful. But when you feel that you are on your own too much...that can be stressful.

I really don't like feeling the hunger. But as i try to look the positive in every situation i think about like that: When I'm hungry my life, my "sober side" call me that " I'm here !" The LIFE say, or shout at me: " WANT ME!!!!!" Food is good. You deserve it. I really want to give up punish my body !!! A lot of people punished me already...i won't. I will love my body. I almost feel that my body begging for stop! Saying:" Feed me ! Treat me !" " Whatever happened in the past it's just over ! No body can hurt you anymore!" And you know what ? YES!!!! I suffered enough! I suffered a lot ! But it's over. I deserve life, i deserve food, i deserve the recovery !!! I SAY YES TO LIFE !!!!!!!

By the way how many people can be envy to me because i eat what i want ? :) I don't have to think about when i eat this or that or how much i eat of it. I eat what i want, i eat when i want and as much or many as i want. Simply i just don't have to give up !